Imagine something that is living -- something strong and flourishing -- perhaps it is something you even love. Now imagine that you are willfully starving it. You are purposely suffocating it. You are consciously and methodically killing it off any way that you can. And think of how you must delude yourself to accept this absurd course of action only because in this warped time and place it is considered the right thing to do. It puts you in a foul & despondent mood. You must kill it off because if you don't, like a lion cub, this seemingly harmless little creature will grow into a giant saber-fanged beast that will tear out your throat and swallow your heart. Nevermind how adorable it is. So everyday you shrug and ignore its cry for nourishment - and everyday it gets a little weaker, and so do you. This is autumn 2003.